Helping Your Child Understand

I recently shared an article of mine that was published several years ago titled “How to Help Your Child Deal With Fear”.

As we face a variety of world crisis’, I thought this article that was sent to me a timely piece and wanted to share it with all of my readers. World Vision is an organization that we have greatly appreciated over the years and they are currently involved in bringing aid to Japan.

Please share this with your friends as we all try to help our children understand what is happening around them.

How to talk to kids about tragedies, disasters: Tips from World Vision

WASHINGTON, 16 March 2011- As information increases about the devastation of Japan’s earthquake and tsunami, our children will likely see disturbing news footage and have questions about this tragedy. Below are several suggestions on how to talk with children about this disaster and its impact.

These tips are provided by humanitarian organization World Vision. World Vision has worked in Japan for more than two decades and responded to the massive Kobe earthquake in 1995, and now has staff assisting in the relief efforts in Sendai.

1. Start by listening.

Find out what your child already knows. You can then respond in an age-appropriate way. The aim is not to worry them with the devastating details, but to protect them from misinformation they may have heard from friends or disturbing images they may have seen on television.

2. Provide clear, simple answers.

Limit your answer to the question asked and use simple language.

3. If you don’t know the answer, admit it.

If your children ask questions that you can’t answer, tell them so, and then do some research to try and help them sort it out. If they ask “Why did this have to happen?” don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know.” The reassurance offered can be invaluable in helping your child sort through the truth that awful things happen.

4. Follow media reports or online updates privately.

Young children in particular are easily traumatized and seeing or hearing about the horrifying details of the quake may be more than they can cope with. Adults, too, should ensure they are dealing with their own emotions by talking to others, so they can continue to respond well to their children’s needs.

5. Concentrate on making them feel safe.

When tragedies occur, children wonder if the same event could happen in their hometown. If it was an act of nature that could not be repeated in your area, tell children that. Placing themselves in the situations of victims is not all bad-it is a sign of empathy, an essential life skill, but watch for signs of excessive worrying.

6. Give children creative outlets.

Some children may not be prepared to speak about what they have heard, but may find drawing or other creative activities helpful to deal with their emotions and stress. Their drawings can be helpful starting points for conversation.

7. Model involvement and compassion.

Tell your child that, as a family, you will be helping the people in Japan by giving a donation to a reputable charity such as World Vision.

8. Give your child a chance to be involved.

Being involved in the solution will help relieve some of their anxiety. Invite them to contribute to the family’s gift by giving something out of their piggy bank.

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For more information on World Vision’s efforts please visit www.worldvision.org/press.

World Vision is a Christian humanitarian organization dedicated to working with children, families and their communities worldwide to reach their full potential by tackling the causes of poverty and injustice. We serve the world’s poor – regardless of religion, race, ethnicity or gender.

Everything You Do Matters!

**I was not paid in any way for the following review. I was sent a sample of the product I am reviewing only. The opinions are my own, honest evaluation of the product.**

I was asked if I would be interested in reviewing this book. I’d heard good things about it and the publisher, Tommy Nelson, is very highly regarded. With my many years of parenting coming to a close, and a B.A. in Child Development, I thought it was a great chance to put in my 2 cents worth on this new book.

I intended to read it critically, from the eye of  a Teacher/Parent, but I must admit, the first thing that caught my eye, and kept my interest were the gorgeous watercolor illustrations! I tend to instantly study any style of watercolor, so I enjoyed browsing the pictures even before I read the book.

Once I began to really read, I was quickly drawn into the stories. The message of the book is so clear and so true. Everything you do makes a difference. Every choice you make in life impacts someone and something – not only your own future but the future of others.

As parents and teachers we are so often wanting to teach children to think ahead about the consequences of their choices. This book is a great way to get started as there are many wonderful examples of this in “The Boy Who Changed The World”.

As one who has also done a lot of mentoring and encouraged others to mentor, I was especially touched by the example of how a boy was influenced by the friendship of an older friend – a student of his Father, who was a professor.

After reading the book, I am convinced that every elementary teacher would enjoy having this book in the classroom. It is a must have for Homeschooling families and a great discussion opener for parents with their children.

You learn more about this book HERE. There is a promo video and you can look through some of the pages of the book.

Below, I’ve included some of the promo information that was sent to me. Take special notice of the wonderful, free resources that are available with this book. There is a downloadable curriculum guide for classrooms and homeschool, and a one page readers guide for parents.

As a parent, teacher, artist, and child development specialist, I highly recommend this book. Take some time to visit the website – I know you will be glad you did!

The Boy Who Changed the World

By Andy Andrews

Illustrated by Phillip Hurst

List $16.99

Hardcover trade color 38 pages

Tommy Nelson Publishers

ISBN 978-1-4003-1605-2

The Boy Who Changed the World reveals the incredible truth that everything YOU do matters-what you did yesterday, what you do today, and what you will do tomorrow. Every choice you make, good or bad, can make a difference.

In this engaging tale, bestselling author Andy Andrews shows children that every action, however big and small, can have a ripple effect around the world. The Boy Who Changed the World, is a children’s version of his popular book The Butterfly Effect.

The book is full of vibrant illustrations created by English illustrator Philip Hurst. They are as varied as they are frequent, going from green Iowa cornfields, to a blazing Kansas barn, to a flourish of butterflies against a pale blue sky.

Several additional free PDF file downloads are being released to enhance parent and teacher and children’s experience with the lessons Andy teaches in the book.  A 54 Page Teacher’s Curriculum Guide has been developed for schools and homeschoolers.  A one page Reader’s Guide is available containing 15 discussion questions for parents and teachers to help expand their children’s experience and learning of the key lessons in the book.

WHO IS ANDY ANDREWS?

Andy Andrews, hailed by a New York Times writer as someone who has quietly become “one of the most influential people in America,” is a best-selling novelist and in-demand corporate speaker for the world’s largest organizations. The Traveler’s Gift, a featured book selection of ABC’s Good Morning America, has been translated into nearly twenty languages and was on the New York Times bestseller list for seventeen weeks. His latest book, The Noticer was also on the NY Times bestsellers list. His recent books include The Heart Mender, The Butterfly Effect, and Return to Sawyerton Springs.

Andy has spoken at the request of four different United States presidents and toured military bases around the world, being called upon by the Department of Defense to speak to the troops. He is one of the most popular and in demand speakers in corporate America.  Arguably, there is no single person on the planet better at weaving subtle yet life-changing lessons into riveting tales of adventure and intrigue—both on paper and on stage.

He lives in Gulf Shores, Alabama, with his wife, Polly, and their two sons.

Written here is my honest personal opinion. I was not paid for this review. I do thank Tommy Nelson Publishers for providing me with the book “The Boy Who Changed The World” so that I could read it and my opinion with my readers.

Helping My Children Deal With Fear

Every child experiences fear. There is fear of the dark, fear of thunderstorms, and fear of “things” under the bed. In the past year, children have also experienced adult-sized fears.

Three weeks after the September 11 Twin Towers tragedy, I was packing my bags to fly to Alaska. My eight-year-old kept hugging me and telling me he didn’t want me to go. My 11-year-old tearfully asked me what she would do if I didn’t come home.

My children were fearful for my safety, and the truth was, so was I.

How do we help our children deal with difficult fears such as these? I have discovered three important factors in calming my children’s distress.

Emphasize God’s goodness.

It’s tempting to dismiss our children’s fears and assure them that nothing bad will happen. But if we do, we may be setting them up to feel abandoned or lied to. I couldn’t promise my kids that I would be safe on that flight or that nothing would happen to me. I didn’t have control over who else might board and what their motives would be—just as I don’t have control over other drivers on the road, and I can’t stop disease from entering my body.

It’s important to help our children feel confident in God’s goodness, even when the answer to their prayers or the outcome of a situation may look different from what they had wanted. Although I couldn’t promise my children I would be safe, I could promise them that God loved them and would always be with them and take care of them. I promised them that He would only allow what was best for me, for them, and for His perfect plans.

King David experienced many moments of fear, yet in Psalm 34 we find him focused on God’s goodness. David reviewed the many times God had already rescued him. This led him to trust God with all of his present fears.

I have found that David’s process of remembering God’s goodness is necessary for my children and me. On the day before my trip, we sat down together and made it a game to see how many good things we could remember about God. By the end, instead of being filled with fear, my kids were joyful over the many blessings they have received from God. I have tried to teach my children to look for God’s goodness in all situations—good or bad.

Teach them to pray.

I have always felt that it was important to teach my children to take their fears to God. Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” When my kids were very small, I would pray out loud for them. I prayed for God’s protection and thanked Him for His goodness and love. As my children grew, I encouraged them to pray out loud after I had prayed. Then I began encouraging them to pray first. Over the years, they have learned to tell God about their fears and to thank Him in advance for His help.

We have also spent time memorizing verses that remind us of God’s love and protection. I encourage my children to say these verses quietly until they fall asleep. One of their favorites has been Ps. 56:3–4

“When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?”

When they were young, my children enjoyed a song with these verses. I would often hear them humming it in bed after the lights were out.

As I left for Alaska that day, I reminded them that if they felt fearful they could pray anywhere and anytime. The Bible verses they had memorized were in their hearts, and God was with them at all times.

Model Trust

How do you handle fear? Our children perceive much more than we generally give them credit for. They see our fear, and they watch us when we worry, obsess about problems, and try to control outcomes. Children see right through us when we teach one thing and live another.

As my children and I talked about my upcoming trip, I knew that I had to put my own fears in God’s hands. I modeled the steps I had taught my children. We remembered together how God had brought about this trip and talked about the wonderful things He could do through it. We recalled the many trips I had taken in the past, the great works God had done, and the safety He had provided. Then we prayed together. We prayed for my safety, for the person who would sit next to me on the plane, and for the people I would meet. We asked God to help us trust Him—no matter what happened.

By the time I left, all of us were excited about my trip. The children slept great while I was gone, and they prayed for me each day. My daughter told me later that she still didn’t know how she would live without me, but that she was confident God would help her if that’s what she had to do. Now that’s real trust!

What are some of the things you do to help your children deal with fear?

 

 

 

Written by Melanie Pruitt ©2002

“How Do I Help My Children Deal With Fear?” Originally Published in the July | August 2002 issue of Discipleship Journal